Why Having a Prenup or Cohabitation Agreement is Essential: Preventive Planning for Your Future

As a family law attorney, one of the most common concerns I encounter is clients facing unexpected, and often costly, legal challenges after a marriage or long-term partnership comes to an end. While no one enters a relationship planning for a divorce or separation, the reality is that the costs of undoing a marriage can be staggering—often running into tens of thousands of dollars. That’s why having a prenup (prenuptial agreement) or cohabitation agreement is not only smart but a necessary preventative measure for anyone entering a serious partnership.

Preventative Planning: The Case for a Prenup or Cohabitation Agreement

A prenup or cohabitation agreement provides clarity and structure, protecting both parties and helping to avoid lengthy, expensive disputes down the road. The reality is that the cost of a highly contested divorce can quickly exceed $100,000 in legal fees. Comparatively, a carefully crafted prenup or cohabitation agreement typically costs less than $5,000, making it a highly cost-effective way to protect your financial interests and ensure a smoother future.

These agreements are not about planning for failure, but rather about planning for the future. They ensure that both parties are aligned on their values, expectations, and life plans before entering into a significant commitment. A clear understanding of each other’s expectations around finances, property division, and even career and family goals can significantly reduce the risk of conflict later on.

Alignment on Values and Expectations

A prenup or cohabitation agreement serves as an opportunity to have important conversations about your values, priorities, and future plans. These conversations may seem awkward or uncomfortable at first, but they are essential. Do you and your partner have similar views on finances, career goals, and children? Have you discussed how property will be divided if things don't work out? Have you discussed how finances will be managed in your household? These are conversations that are often avoided or put off, but they are far easier to address before a marriage than after a marriage is over.

If you do not have these conversations now, you may find yourself having them later—during a divorce, when emotions run high and the stakes are even higher. A prenup or cohabitation agreement provides a structured, clear framework for how these issues should be addressed in case of a breakdown, reducing the likelihood of lengthy disputes that can drain your financial resources and emotional energy.

Legal Responsibilities and Duties in Marriage

Many people are unaware of the legal responsibilities and duties that come with marriage. When you marry, you sign up for certain legal obligations, such as community property and spousal support laws, which may automatically apply to the property you accumulate during the marriage. Divorce laws also determine how debts, assets, and responsibilities will be divided. If you’re not on the same page about these matters, a prenup can ensure that both parties are aware of what they’re agreeing to and help define how things will be handled in the event of a divorce.

For individuals who choose to live together without getting married, community property laws may still apply, depending on whether you meet the common law definition of having a committed intimate relationship. Even if you are not legally married, if you and your partner have lived together for a certain number of years, the law may treat you as if you were married when it comes to dividing property. However, other marriage laws, such as alimony or inheritance rights, do not automatically apply to unmarried couples. This is why understanding the legal implications of your relationship status is critical.

What Happens if Your Marriage Lasts 20 Years?

A common question that arises is whether the terms of a prenup or cohabitation agreement still apply after many years of marriage. The answer is yes—the terms you agree to are legally binding, unless modified by mutual consent later on. If your marriage lasts for 20 years, the financial arrangements and responsibilities you set out in a prenup or cohabitation agreement will still be in effect unless you decide to make changes together. These agreements can also be reviewed and updated at milestones in your marriage, such as after having children or when career goals shift.

A prenup or cohabitation agreement is not a one-time, set-in-stone decision but a tool for ongoing planning, adapting to life changes as they occur.

The Rise of Cohabitation and Unmarried Partnerships

In recent years, especially among Gen Y and Z, more couples are choosing to live together, have children, and even buy property without getting married. While this trend reflects changing views on marriage, it’s important for couples to understand that community property laws can still apply to their relationship, even if they are not married. In Washington, assets acquired during your relationship may be considered joint property, and if the relationship ends, disputes could arise over how property should be divided.

If you are unmarried, other marriage laws—such as spousal support and inheritance rights —do not automatically apply to your relationship. This is why it’s critical to have legal protection in place, especially if you have shared assets or children together. A cohabitation agreement can serve a similar purpose as a prenup, providing clarity on financial responsibilities and the division of assets should the relationship end.

Planning for the Future

Whether you are getting married or entering into a long-term partnership, planning for the future is crucial. Prenups and cohabitation agreements allow you to define expectations and responsibilities now, rather than waiting until a crisis arises. These agreements can help mitigate conflict, protect your assets, and ensure that both parties are on the same page regarding life goals and financial commitments.

In conclusion, whether you're planning to get married or live together, a prenup or cohabitation agreement is an investment in your future—an opportunity to establish a strong foundation of communication and mutual understanding. Don’t wait until it’s too late to have these important conversations. Planning ahead can save you time, money, and heartache down the road.